Hi! Dating can be so much fun, but it can also be scary and intimidating. Here are 4 tips that can help give you confidence to know you are dating more safely.

1. Speak with the person before you agree to meet up

If you are communicating with someone you are interested in and decide that you would like to meet them, try to speak with them over the phone especially through a platform where you can see them. This not only allows you to see how they treat you when speaking with them, but it if you can see them you can be sure their profile picture matches what they actually look like. Do not agree to meet until you have at least spoken with them over the phone. It is a bad idea to blindly meet someone and be stuck on a date before you get to know them a bit more by either talking on the phone or live through a platform like FaceTime. If someone will not agree to at least speak with you on the phone before meeting them, then that would be a deal breaker for me and I would move on. If during the phone call, they are rude, inappropriate, or make you feel uncomfortable in any way, you can thank them for their time and let them know this was not going to be match and move on.

2. Arrive to the date separately

Remember, this is a stranger. You do not know them. It would be less safe to have them pick you up or for you to pick them up. Also, be sure to let others know:

a. Who you are going with

b. Where you are going

c. How long you will be gone for

If they ask to come get you, you can politely decline and let them know you will meet them there. If they ask you for a ride, you can let them know that you don't give rides until you know someone better. If someone adds pressure after expressing your boundaries I would decline the date altogether. They are pressuring someone they do not know and the are ignoring your boundaries. These can be traits of an unsafe person. The same goes for going home, you would want to leave the date separately. Even though you just went on a date, they are still more of a stranger than not.

3. It might be time to run if...

It can be confusing to know what to base a second date on... Here are a couple reasons you may want to considering running and not have a second date.

a. If they get drunk- this can happen and be a one time oops, or it can be an indicator or a larger problem. This does not mean you cannot be friends, but it may not be what you are looking for in a partner

b. If they are rude to anyone- this includes the waiter, any random person, and you. If they are demeaning, get aggressive, or are just down right rude.. time to run

c. If they are touchy feely- if they are touching you (often) or if the hug feels like wayyyy too much, or if you are just uncomfortable with how much and where they are touching you, no second date necessary. They are showing poor boundaries and a lack of respect... move on

For a more detailed list of when to run, check out our free PDF for dating safe tips!

4. How to walk away if you need to

If you decide not to see them again, be courageous and polite, not “nice” or rude. Here are some ways to say no thank you and move on.

a. It was really nice meeting you, I appreciate the date but it’s not a good fit for me

b. Thank you for asking me out again I really enjoyed our time however, it wasn’t a good fit for me.

c. Say what you’re comfortable with. It is important to have a sentence ready to give instead of trying to come up with one on the fly. Also, be sure you practice your statement a couple of times before you talk on the phone and/or go on a date.

Understanding how to date safe will give you more confidence to say no thank you, set and hold your boundaries, and also be able to walk away when you need to with no guilt.

You can check out our series on YouTube for more great tips on how to date safe.

Take good care and all the best to you as date safe!!!