Hi! Before you say I do, you both want to be sure you are clear as to what you are agreeing to. You may have a different idea in your mind of what your marriage is going to or "should" look like than your partner. One way to be sure you close the gap and discuss any differences would be to have a conversation or many conversations about what you both would like your marriage to look like. If you feel safe doing so you can do the following exercise together to try get a better understanding of what you partner is looking for in a marriage. If you do not feel safe having this conversation, please seek help from a local professional in your area. Now, if you are ready let's dive in!

1. Think of a couple you admire (you will both want to think of a couple you admire.)

2. What is it about this couple that you like?

3. How does each spouse treat the other?

4. What about this marriage would you want to use as a model for yours and why?

You each will want to write out the answers and then discuss them. You may be spot on with each other or have different ideas entirely for what you want out of a marriage. Discuss any similarities and any differences you may have. See if there is a compromise for the differences and if not... keep talking. You may finally reach a compromise or you may want to enter counseling. Yes counseling, yes before marriage. It is better to prevent a failing marriage than to have to survive one.

Check out Do I? on amazon for more great tips and exercises you can do as a couple.

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I hope you found this helpful and keep having lots of discussions before you say "I do!" Take good care and all the best to you both!