Hi! Decisions are a part of life and it will also be a part of your married life. Before you say I do, it is important to have a conversation about how you both plan to make decisions. There are three questions below to help walk you through the process. If you do not feel safe asking the questions please seek help. Do not get married if you do not feel safe talking with your partner. Seek help first and see if things change. If you are in a place where you both are ready for the conversation check out the questions below.

1. How will you make decisions as a couple?

There are several models that you can google and learn to help you make a decision. If you do not have a plan or know where to begin take some time now to google some ideas and come up with a plan together of how you will make decisions. The next time you need to make a decision, use your decision making model to help you through the process. This will help bond you and build your communication skills. A great skill to learn early!

2. Are there decisions you plan to make on your own (without your partner) when you get married?

Do you plan to make some decision on your own once you get married? If so, what areas do you plan to have full autonomy or full power to make the decision for yourself? List these areas and discuss them know with your partner. Are there answers or is there feedback you're getting that you don't like? Pay attention, this is what you are signing up for. If you cannot find a compromise keep exploring or seek help before you get married. Don't wait to figure it out til after you are married.

You can check this series to explore this area more.

#3 Are there decisions you plan to only make as a couple?

Next, let's talk about the decisions that you plan to only make as a couple. This could be things like purchases over $100, or car purchases, or ... Try to think of decisions that you expect to make together and never have just one person make them.

Check out Do I lots of great conversation starters to help you prepare for a strong lastly marriage.

Remember, the more you hash out and discuss before you say I Do, the better your marriage will start. It is also important to remember that you both have the right to change your mind. What you think and how you feel today will most likely be different in 10 years. For now, try the best you can to answer the conversation as honestly and openly as you can. You need to know what you are signing up for before you say I do. After some conversation you may decide you that you are too different and decide not to get married. Leave that option on the table, better to avoid a bad marriage than try to survive one. I hope you find this blog and other resources helpful.

Take good care, all the best to you both!