Hi!

Being the family scapegoat is difficult all year long, but it can be especially painful during the holidays. This is true whether you are still in contact with family or not. That scapegoat hold can reach beyond contact and we can feel it during the holidays. It may be due to the familial expectation that occurs during the holidays. Watching or hearing others go to their family's home or invite family over can make you feel less than and that hurts!

If you are no longer in contact with your family it is important to make new traditions that you enjoy and find ways to embrace your peace while living a life you love even during the holidays.

If you are still in contact with your family here are two tips you can try during the holiday season.

Tip #1 Consider Skipping the Event and Not Going

If going causes you such anxiety and dread, consider not going if you feel that is an option for you. Not everyone is going to feel comfortable with this option. It will more than likely not be without consequence so you will have to make that decision, but you always have a right not to go.

There are many ways to say no. You can say; "No thank you", "I am not feeling up to it", "I will see if I am better by then and if so I will let you know...".

In controlling family systems that create scapegoats this will more than likely be a problem. If you really don't want to go and you feel up to dealing with the consequences, then you can choose this one. Again, this would have to be your decision, as an adult you have every right to not go.

Check out this video for more tips and tricks:

Tip #2 Set A Time You Plan to Leave Ahead of Time

If not going to the family event is not an option, it can help to set a time you plan to leave. This helps us to avoid having to wait until it all blows up and we are sent away or kicked out. Consider driving your own vehicle so you don't have to wait for someone else to be ready to leave as well, you can just leave when you decide. When we set a time we are planning to leave this can help us avoid the drama and the trauma. Instead of trying to leave based on the vide we are getting, we can leave during our set time in case we miss warning signs that trouble is coming.

Think back to your last event and try to gauge how long the fun or peace lasted until it was bad. Maybe last time it was an hour and a half into the event. If that is the case, then this time set your departure time to an hour and a half after it starts. Then no matter how much fun you are having or how nice anyone seems to be, leave after your set time. This is a great way to avoid the heart ache.

For more tips and tricks on how to be A Scapegoat No More Forever you can sign up for you course on sale now!

For more information on how to be A Scapegoat No More Forever you grab a copy of the book here:

No matter what your situation is this year, I hope you find and protect your peace any way you can!

Take good care and thanks for reading!