Hi!

Gaslighting is a tactic that many narcissists or tormentors use as a tactic for scapegoating. The term gaslight comes from a 1944 film where a woman is manipulated into questioning her own reality.

Check out this video for more information on how gaslighting is used to create scapegoats.

One of the goals of gaslighting is to pull you from your 5 senses. Your five senses are:

1. taste

2. touch

3. sight

4. smell

5. sound

When we are paying attention we will notice that tormentors challenge and call our 5 senses into question to get us to doubt ourselves.

For example, let's say we see (by looking at a clock) that someone has come home at 3 am. The next day when we confront or point out to them that them that came home at 3am, they refuse to admit this and instead begin to tell you that you are losing it, that you are going crazy, or keep making things up and they are sick of it. These challenging of your 5 senses is often followed with punishment. So not only are you called crazy for telling the truth about what you see, hear, feel, etc. you are also punished for doing so. Over time, if not challenged, this can lead to us separating from our own five senes, or from our own reality.

You can learn more about how to be A Scapegoat No More Forever from my book here:

It is important to understand that although gaslighting hurts, and it is very painful, the pain is not the end goal of the tormentor. The dangerous end goal is full control. The tormentor is not only separating you from your 5 senses but they are teaching you to rely on them to tell you what you saw, what you heard, how you feel, etc. Full dependence, full control...

Check out our full course available here:

How to Set Boundaries to Help You Stay Clear

Boundaries are a great way to stay strong and to stay clear in you mind. You don't even have to let the tormentor know your boundary if you don't want to. It is important that you know the boundary.

Here is the boundary... No one gets to tell you what you saw, what you heard, how you feel, how something you tasted tastes, etc. Your 5 senses are yours and they are communicating to your what is happening in your environment. So if you tell someone what you heard, and they say "No you didn't", that is crossing a boundary, It is not for someone else to tell you what you heard. They can tell you how they heard something different, or that they said something different, but it is not for them to tell you that your 5 senses are wrong. You can tell yourself, that is not true I know what I heard and keep it to yourself. Or, you can say, "you can tell me that you said something different, but it's not for you to tell me I didn't hear what I heard..." It is your choice if you just tell yourself the boundary of if you draw the line with someone else. just remember safety is first. If you are not safe to set those types of boundaries for any reason, then as long as you are mindful that the boundary is crossed. it can help you to have clarity.

I hope you found this helpful and that you start setting boundaries even if only for yourself against the tormentor's gaslighting.

Take good care and thanks for reading!