Hi! When you are the scapegoat leaving can be one of the most terrifying decisions or moves you will make. It may be easy for someone on the outside looking in to see how wrong or bad the treatment is, BUT it is not as clear for the scapegoat. One of the main challenges a scapegoat faces is the programming they have endured by the tormentor and the flying monkeys.

Scapegoats are not just created out of thin air. To create and maintain a scapegoat programming has to occur. It is the messaging the scapegoat receives from the programming that causes the scapegoat to feel so afraid to leave or to say know. Here are 3 programming tactics that teach a scapegoat that they don't have the same rights as everyone else including "leaving".

1. The tormentor is the MOST important

For you to be a scapegoat the tormentor has to be the most important. They program you to believe that no one hurts as bad as them. No one gets as sick as them. They had the worst childhood, the worst job, the most difficult relationships. Any time you have an issue or a problem, their issues and problems will be MORE than yours. Over time this teaches us not talk about our issues or problems because they are "nothing in comparison". We learn they are what is important; their feelings, their ailments, their wishes, and needs are what matter most.

Check out this video to learn more about Overcoming your scapegoat mindset.

2. The tormentor is fragile

Being taught how "fragile" the tormentor is, is yet another tactic of programming. Tormentors can be the most volatile, the biggest tyrants, and the most aggressive and yet somehow they program a scapegoat and the flying monkeys to believe they are the most fragile. Seeing them as the most fragile causes to treat them as though they could break at any time. This keeps us from confronting them, from setting boundaries, and especially from leaving them.

3. It is wrong for you to leave

A scapegoat is taught to accept poor treatment and punishment, but most of all to take the poor treatment and never leave. When the scapegoat tries to leave or walk away they can be attacked and shamed. This programs a scapegoat to learn that leaving is worst than the poor treatment they receive. The poor treatment is nothing compared to the offense of leaving and this is how scapegoats learn that leaving is wrong or leaving is the worst thing you can do.

You learn more from reading A Scapegoat No More Forever

All of these tactics are why it is so very difficult for a scapegoat to say no more and to move forward with their life. They would have go against "the most important" person and risk hurting a "fragile" person, on top of doing the "worst thing" they could do by leaving. Overcoming the programming helps to overcome our scapegoat role for good!

Thank you so much for reading. I am hoping this helps to bring some clarity to your experience so you can get free from the role of a scapegoat. It truly is nothing more than a waste of your time!

Take good care!